The Journey of a Mary Sue (Black Butler)
by mmm125
Summary: Mary Sue randomly finds herself in the world of Black Butler and is determined to be a star- even if it means destroying the universe.
1. Chapter 1

BAM! Mary Sue fell face-first into the frosty snow. It stung her cheeks, causing them to turn into a pleasant pink. "Ow," she whined. "Oh, how embarrassing. . .". It was only as that point that Mary Sue realized that she had no idea where she had come from, where she was, or what the heck she was even doing here. She sat straight up and quivered gracefully, her hot pink locks cascading over her shoulders. _I bet the handsome protagonist will come and save me any minute..._.

Suddenly, a carriage approached. Inside of it was a boy wearing an eye patch and elegant clothing, accompanied by a butler clad in black. "STOP THE CARRIAGE!" he shouted. He then beckoned Mary to come to him. She obliged. "Why, thank you, um..." She then realized that she had no idea who this boy was, and that her mother (who had been, like, super abusive and conducted experiments on her and stuff before dying tragically) had told her to never get into carriages with strangers. She turned to leave, before feeling the boy's hands grasp hers firmly.

"I'm Phantomhive. Ciel Phantomhive."

"What?" she inquired. "Are you sure your name isn't James Bond?'

An awkward silence fell upon the two future lovers acquaintances.

"Of course not, why?"


	2. Chapter 2

Mary Sue blushed in a completely attractive, non-embarrassing way.

"No reason. Anyhow, I'm Mary Sue."

They held each other's hands, as she stared into his sea-blue eyes, which seemed to hold burdens that she, despite having an almost impossibly high IQ, could not comprehend.

"I have a proposition for you, Mary Sue." He smiled at her coldly.

Mary Sue's amethyst orbs darted from left to right.

"Thank you, but I'm not interested in modeling. Despite my beauty, I have too low self-esteem and too much modesty to…"

Her voice trailed off as she looked at Ciel's confused face.

"I was asking if you would like to be my maid, despite that I have no knowledge of your serving and fighting abilities."

Mary smiled.

"Are you kidding? HECK YEAH!"

She jumped in the air, only to notice that everyone, even the driver, was staring at her oddly.

"Um, I can still be a model, right?"


	3. Chapter 3

Mary Sue sat down, sandwiched between Finny and Mey-Rin. She tapped her foot against the floor of the carriage and whispered: "Are we there yet?"

"We're almost there!" Finny replied cheerily.

Mary Sue smiled contentedly, and placed her hands on her lap.

"So… are we there yet?"

"We're almost there, yes!" Mey-Rin exclaimed.

Mary Sue paused for a few moments

"So, are we THERE…"

She was cut short by Ciel.

"Sebastian, take Mary Sue to the estate."

"Yes, my lord." Sebastian scooped Mary Sue up and gracefully leapt out of the carriage. Mary Sue's cheeks flushed. "Um, uh..." she stuttered as Sebastian raced down the crowded streets. But, of course, Mary Sue, being Mary Sue, could never stay silent for long, inquired: "So, your name is Sebastian, huh?" Sebastian smiled warmly (well, Mary Sue thought it was quite warm, but the casual observer would clearly notice it was quite similar to the way he smiled when he was about to kill someone) and replied: "Yes, my name is Sebastian Michaelis."

Within moments, they were at the Phantomhive estate. "Wow..." Mary Sue gazed up at the beautiful structure with wonder. The mansion was a truly beauteous sight to behold, although, she thought with a smug satisfaction, not as beautiful as herself.

Sebastian, linking arms with her, escorted her into the manor. "Now, as a maid, you will have many duties that I am sure you are unaccustomed to. I'll instruct you on cleaning, and gauge some other... nessecary talents."

Mary Sue replied, "That might take a while. I'm good at everything!"

Sebastian smirked. "We'll see about that..." he muttered.


	4. Chapter 4

Mary Sue awoke to glowing red eyes.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" she shrieked.

Then she realized it was just Sebastian.

"Wow, Sebastian, your eyes are creepy," she whispered.

"If you're done squealing," he replied, "I have a small task for you."

Mary Sue nodded.

"A kelpie was sighted a few miles from the Phantomhive estate. I would like you to kill it."

"A kelpie? That sounds like someone just took some seaweed, slapped a little pink bow on it, and then called it a "kelpie" so they could market it to little girls."

Sebastian sighed.

"A kelpie is a mythical horse that lives near lakes and ponds-"

Mary Sue shrieked with delight.

"Did you say it was a HORSE?"

"Yes, a horse that will tempt you to ride on it, then drag you into the murkiest depths of the water until you drown."

Mary Sue jumped out of her bed and started skipping.

"YAY! I'm going to ride a pony! I'm going to ride a pony!'

_What an idiot,_ Sebastian thought to himself. "Firstly, it is a horse, not a pony. And second, you'll die if you attempt to ride it."

"Is it a _pink_ pony?" Mary Sue inquired.

Sebastian then dropped a few mysterious objects into Mary's hands.

Mary Sue scrutinized these objects intensely, before concluding:

"Knives. A couple of kitchen knives. Do you really think I'll be able to fight the pony with a some kitchen knives?"

Sebastian grinned. "I was able to kill an armed mafia using only these."

"Fine!" Mary Sue huffed.

"Excellent. There is a carriage waiting for you outside." Mary Sue moseyed to the door, when she felt Sebastian's hand on her shoulder.

"Also, Mary…" he paused, "…try not to get yourself killed."

Mary Sue snickered. "Oh, I see. This is a tsundere thing, huh?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're just pretending to act cold around me in order to hid your soft heart. Soon, however, my natural charm and beauty will persuade you to let down the barricades, and you will realize that I am your true love."

Sebastian, putting one hand over his mouth, tried to stifle his laughter.

"Mary, I only meant that your dead body found so close to the Phantomhive estate would cause suspicion."

"Well, then what about your cold attitude and feigned dislike?"

"Perhaps, Mary, I simply find you annoying".

Mary Sue stormed out, more determined than ever to kill the pink pony or ride the kelpie or whatever the heck she was supposed to do.


	5. Chapter 5

Mary Sue stepped out of the carriage, steadfast in her decision to vanquish the kelpie and prove to Sebastian and Ciel that she was capable of fighting. She strode towards the green silhouette in the distance, her head held high. As she approached it, she noticed that it was a beautiful, strong stallion, with seaweed for a mane. Her fingers clenched the kitchen knives.

"Enjoy your last few moments on Earth, foul beast, for I will…"

The kelpie reared its head, and stared at her with its soulful, dark eyes.

"…AWWWW! YOU'RE ADORABLE!"

Mary Sue unhesitatingly climbed on the monster's back, a goofy smile plastered on her face. The breathtaking horse reared up…..

and sprinted into the water.

"WHAAAAA? PONY, STOP!"

The kelpie then rolled its large eyes, almost as if it was saying, _I'm a horse, not a pony. _It then plunged into the icy water, with Mary clinging on to its seaweed mane.

She then felt the knife in her delicate hand. She thrust it right into…

Her arm. _Stupid knife,_ she thought. _How could someone expect you to thrust a knife if you're going up and down while riding on some sort of underwater pony?_

Luckily, the cut was none too deep. However, she now realized that she was out of air. She was going to die here, alone, with only a physco horse for company.

A single tear fell from her lashes, landing on the kelpie. Suddenly, the kelpie's demeanour changed. It started to swim back to the surface.

Soon, Mary sue could breathe again! She gasped, but tried to control her gasping. Afterall, she believed gasping _too _much to be unattractive, even if you were on the verge of drowning.

She knew that, somehow, she had caused this animal to have a change of heart and become her ally. But how? Maybe she had secret powers that could influence people, or maybe, as she always believed, she was just that charming. She gave the horse her gratitude.

"Thank you, kelpie," she whispered, stroking the monster's nose.

The kelpie then bit her hand, as all horses do when stroked on the nose by a total stranger.

Come on, _no one_ was powerful enough to stop that.


	6. Chapter 6

Mary Sue rode triumphantly home on her kelpie, her face lit up with pure joy.

"I'll be able to show Sebastian that I'm not useless, _and_ I'll get a pony too!"

However, a mere four yards away from the manor, a gunshot rang out. The kelpie reared up before finally following to the ground, fatall wounded in its leg. Mary Sue, her violet eyes brimming with tears, embraced her horse. "Don't worry, it's going to be all right…"

She heard footsteps approaching, and was partially soothed by their calm, steady rhythm. She looked up, staring into the faces of-

Ciel and Sebastian!

"Ciel! Sebastian! We must aid this kelpie, and quickly!"

Ciel and Sebastian were motionless.

"Sebastian! Ciel! Please, do something!"

Finally, Ciel spoke.

"There is no need to do that."

"Why not?" Mary Sue sobbed.

"Your mission, Mary, was to _eliminate_ the Kelpie," Ciel continued. "So, when I saw that the beast was still alive, I sent Mey-Rin to shoot it."

Mary Sue put her hands on her face, devastated.

"What? You _monster_!" She shook her stallion friend repeatedly, desperately pleading:

"Please stay awake, Black Beauty! Please, please stay awake!"

"Black Beauty is a peculiar name for a green animal," Sebastian quipped.

"In addition, how did you form so strong an attachment to this monster when you only knew it for less than an hour?" Ciel inquired.

"SHUT UP! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!" She then ran to her room, weeping.

(Of course, under _normal _circumstances, no master would tolerate their servant speaking like this to them during this time period, but since she's Mary Sue, of course, Ciel immediately forgave her outburst.)

"I'M SO JUSTIFIABLY ANGSTY RIGHT NOW!" she screeched to no one in particular.


	7. Chapter 7

Mary Sue laid on her bed, her hot pink locks falling gracefully over her shoulders. Pure droplets of tears were suspended on her lashes, bringing out her magenta irises. She would have looked almost beautiful-

If she wasn't screeching like a banshee.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! THIS IS NO FAIR! I HATE BLOOD- IT'S _SO _ICKY- AND SEEING DEATH BROUGHT BACK MEMORIES OF MY DEAD ABUSIVE MOTHER AND STUFF!"

Come to think of it- what was her mother like? Her memories were blurry. She closed her eyes and attempted to remember her mother. Slowly, the memories came flooding back to her.

Well, not _flooding,_ exactly. It was more of a trickle. No, it was more like after you've turned the water faucet off and it still drips _tiny_ little drops. Yeah, it was like that.

_Anyway…_

She recalled a room, cold and sterile and white. She caught the gleam of the sharp objects on the operating table, and felt the suffocating warmth of the sheets on the bed which she was lying in. Her mother towered over her, her face, which looked eerily similar to that of Mayr Sue (although Mary Sue was _much _more attractive), contorted with malice.

"Mommy," little Mary Sue begged, "Please stop."

"No, my dear. This formula I am about to inject you with will make you the most beautiful, talented, admired, and kawaii person in the world."

"Kawaii? Is that French?" little Mary pouted.

"It doesn't even _remotely _sound like any French word I've ever heard. Now, let's commence the procedure."

Little Mary quivered adorably, pulling the sheets of to the bridge of her nose.

"But, Mommy, those… those…"

"Those _what_?" the mother inquired impatiently.

"THOSE SHARP, SCARY TOOLS DON'T LOOK STERILIZED!"

The mother's jaw fell open in shock.

"Excuse me?"

Mary Sue curled her lower lip.

"I DON'T WANT GERMS TO GET ALL OVER MY CUTE LITTLE BODY! THEN I'LL PROBABLY GET STREP THROAT OR THE BUBONIC PLAGUE OR SOME SICKNESS THAT WON'T MAKE ME LOOK ADORABLE!"

Her mother then shakily picked up the operating tools, more than a little disturbed by her daughter's obsession with appearances.

She had just injected the serum into Mary Sue (which was sparkly and rainbow-colored, as any Mary Sue serum should be) when she suddenly dropped dead.

As Mary Sue recalled this bitter memory, she wept.

Unfortunately, her sobbing alerted a certain bespectacled reaper to her location.

"I suppose we'll meet once again, Sebas-chan."


	8. Chapter 8

Hello! Sorry I haven't updated so long, I promise to be more frequent in the future!

Grell busted through the window, landing right on top of Mary Sue. Her eyes widened with surprise as she surveyed the reaper in all his readheaded, perverted glory.

"Who are you?" Mary Sue inquired.

"My name is Grell Sutcliff."

Mary Sue was silent for a moment.

"I like you. I think you can be my third boyfriend," she exclaimed.

"What?" asked a justly confused Grell.

"Well, Ciel and Sebastian are hotter, but you're kind of hot too."

"I'm not sure I do not understand the term "boyfriend"…nor do I believe dating multiple people was a concept that existed in the eighteenth century."

"I'm timeless," Mary Sue replied.

"THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"

Grell took a moment to compose himself. After all, he reasoned, why should he be irritated by a bratty girl? Come to think of it, why was her hair pink? Unrealistically bright hair colors were his thing.

"Anyway, I'm not into girls…"

Mary Sue batted her luscious eyelashes.

"Well, I can make you straight," she suggested flirtily.

"That makes even less sense than your last comment."

She flipped her bright pink locks.

"I guess I'm just that attractive," she boasted.

"Look, kid," Grell snickered, "you make Elizabeth look like a total hottie."

Mary folded her ivory arms over her particularly curvaceous chest.

"Elizabeth? But she's so ANNOYING! I mean, she's so ridiculously kawaii and oversensitive!"

"Sound like anyone?"

Mary Sue pouted.

"Anyway, why are you here?"

Grell adjusted his glasses.

"You see, there's something very special about you..."

"Tell me something I don't know," she bragged.

"You're an anomaly that threatens to warp this universe into something both horrible and unrecognizable."

"Huh?"


	9. Chapter 9

"What do you mean, I'm an anomaly?" Mary Sue inquired softly, not fully understanding what the word "anomaly" meant but guessing it was not positive.

"You're going to change this universe into something that warps the uniqueness and individuality of characters, leaving many plot holes that make the continuation of the universe completely convoluted."

"Sounds like Season 2."

"At any rate, you're on the to-die list."

"Wait a minute, how do you know that I'm an anemone?"

"Anomaly. Well, I watched you tame the kelpie. Didn't you find it odd that he randomly submitted?" the reaper inquired.

Mary Sue snickered.

"So I tamed a pony. What's it to you?"

"It's the beginning of your warping the universe."

He then held up his chainsaw. As soon as Mary saw the shiny steel monstrosity, she huddled up into a ball. As she buried her head in her knees, she silently wept.

"B-but I never got to romance Ciel and Sebastian…"

"A manipulative, apathetic little boy and an amoral, almost emotionless demon. I can see why you'd be attracted to them."

Mary Sue realized something. She didn't want to die. She was too perfect to be killed.

"NOOOOOO!" she screamed. She snatched the chainsaw from her hands and hurled it out the broken window.

Grell stood still, clearly taken aback.

"I suppose you're warping the universe more quickly than I thought. This sort of strength is uncommon for a human. I should really tell Will..."

The door of Mary Sue's bedroom was slammed open. Standing in the doorway was her favorite demon.

"SEBASTIAN!" Mary Sue squealed.

She giggled.

"I'm saved! Oh, I can't wait to find out how this will add new depths to our relationship! Ooh, maybe you'll even turn me into a demon!"

Sebastian sighed.

"Mary, spending eternity with you would be worse punishment than that of even the most wretched souls in hell. Trust me, I know."

"But if hot demons like you are in there, how bad can it be?"

"I believe you would find being burnt for all eternity would slightly detract from the experience of checking your torturers out," Sebastian explained exasperatedly.

"At any rate, I'm glad you're here to save me from this oddly attractive reaper!"

Sebastian then saw Grell.

"Lovely. The most two annoying people I've met in this lifetime are in the same room."

"What? Elizabeth is in here?" Sue said, puzzled.

"Forget I said anything."

"Come to think of it, Sebastian, why didn't you rush in to save me before? Surely you must have heard him breaking the window."

...

Sebastian did not respond.

"Sebastian, do you even care one bit about my safety?"

Again, Sebastian was silent.

"You don't truly love me!"

"Duh," Grell interjected.

Mary Sue, tears running down her perfect face, ran from Sebastian and Grell, as female teenaged characters always do when trying to escape their failed romance.

She ran into a wall.


End file.
